Gosh, my life has changed so much in less than a year – though practically a year. I’ve gone through a couple cycles regarding the status of my own relations. Ultimately I want to end up with one person for the rest of my life. Unfortunately I don’t know if I’ll meet my forever man today, tomorrow, or ten years from now. Maybe I even met him yesterday but I just don’t know it yet. For that reason (and probably other reasons) I’m not looking for commitment at this moment. I spend time with guys. I spend different kinds of times with different guys. Nothing crazy. Not many men. No relationships. Except one, unintentionally.
Kevin. When we first met I hoped to play the dating game with him. However, we didn’t do much and saw each other sporadically. I was fine with that. Could be a week, could be four weeks. We’ve been hanging out with each other for over 4 months. I wrote our relation off as nothing – just casual, in-frequent friends. We didn’t enjoy Christmas together and we had no plans for New Years. And that was fine. Recently, Kevin has been more consistent with trying to hang out. He also invites me to stay the night and stocks his freezer with chocolates for me. I can’t complain. It’s hit me however, that maybe he thinks we are dating. And our relationship feels far from dating to me. He’s a nice guy. Makes decent money. But we live two different lives. His, a consistent (boring) routine. Think Eat-Sleep-Work-Repeat. And not much else. Mine, much different. Though I have a bed and belongings at my mom’s where I do actually live, my mind lives out of my car – planning ahead for wherever I might end up after work. Rock climbing, meeting a friend, staying over my sister’s place, staying over Kevin’s. I think we have different objectives and desires in life. And as much as I enjoy time with him – it’s not much passed that, simply time with him. The point at hand though was what we may be in his eyes. I think in his eyes we may be dating without ever have even discussed anything of the such. Without ever having left his apartment to go on any date. Relations(ships) are tricky.