Hopeless (JT2)

07/13/2017

I like Jordan, a lot. I wish he was not so awesome. I went to poker with him yesterday and stayed over last night. I was witty and conversational and social [at poker], it was great. I also looked amazing last night. I lost my chips shortly after Jordan, and we left the bar by 10:30. I’m not sure where conversation started last night but after smoking or perhaps even before that it got heavy. Heavy by topic, however light in mood. He established that I was more invested, interested. And I am. Apparently, I’m not his type. And it kills me a little. The worst of it is that we talked so comfortably and so fluidly about the situation. He does have interest in being friends with me, but that is all. ((Yay?, yes yay, but ouch)). Of course, I am interested in being friends with him. How could I be into someone I didn’t even have an interest of being friends with? Regardless, I’m still hopelessly interested in him, and I know that doesn’t always fade fast with me. Being friends might be tough. I’m going to try to not spend as much time with him now, for my head. I love to feel. It’s sad not to have reciprocation though. It’s kind of heartbreaking to even write this mediocre post. I like Jordan, a lot.

Welp, on a positive note he is an ass guy and said I have an ass for days.

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